Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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