Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
