friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
