ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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