Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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