That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
