haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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