This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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