I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
