I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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