Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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