I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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