You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
