the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
