woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
