We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
porn star boner night. come get it.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
