The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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