I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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