shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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