i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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