we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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