sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
