i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
