Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
my poor anus
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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