i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Randomize
