but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
