i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
