It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
