Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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