what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
