i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
