I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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