Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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