Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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