People in love make me want to vomit
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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