At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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