dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
