if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
