Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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