The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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