How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
