just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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