I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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