So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
