lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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