Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
