Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
