if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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