honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
