if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
