We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
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