why do cheetos always look like penises
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You made out with two different species that night
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
