My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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