he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize