we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
