The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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