it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
