Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
