its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
