do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
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